
I am so tired of taking test. I feel like my entire life has been one test after another starting in Elementary school when I had to partake in the nerve racking learning experience we all call Spelling Bees. There you were just waiting anxiously to be called on by the teacher, then in front of everyone it was your time to shine or fail. "Kate, spell onomatopoeia." Ummm "onomontapai?????" "Sit down you FAIL." Then the whole class would know that you were stupid and they would point and be like....oooo that is the slow girl she can not spell. Then you get older and you silently take your test so that you and only you know that you have no idea what is going on. You turn the test into the teacher and realize that in a couple of days she will know that instead of studying you were on AIM all night chatting with friends, trying to be cool instead of studying for her test. Then it was the SAT....first let me say I am not a strong standerdized test taker....so that was a hurdle in itself. I had to take the thing two times and finally got a half way decent score. Luckily my GPA was good enough that the crappy SAT grade did not stop me from getting into A&M and then there were more and more test to take. Test to see if you knew basic history, english, science, and math...then your higher level classes would test you on more detailed areas of your major.
Then it was time for me to take the LSAT....I still remember that morning driving to the test and praying to God to let me do ok enough to get in to at least one law school. It makes me so angry that one test determines whether or not you will have the opportunity to chase your dream. My college GPA was not bad so I knew it was the LSAT that was either going to break me or make me. When I got my score back I was releived.
Now I am in law school and am suffering through my second round of finals and I am tired. My entire life has been one test after another. I just want to be able to enjoy learning without having to memorize every little detail and struggle on whether it is a alternative contingent remainder or a shifting executory interest. Whether the president has the power or not in the Constitution. Whether it is a manufacturing defect or a design defect. Whether it was a material breach or not...WHO CARES!?!?!?!
I even feel other aspects of life are tested every day....aka my ability to grow up and be independent. Trying to cook is a test in itself...everytime I attempt it I set the fire alarm off..FAILURE....I barely can iron without messing the shirt up...FAILURE....and I am just now learning what a Philips screw driver is....
In my attempt to walk with God and live the Christian life I am tested everyday....can I love that driver who just cut me off.....that person who gets on my last nerves....can I love like Christ and see the good in everyone and everything?
I think life is just one big test....I know I will make it through this week until next Monday and then I will have a reprieve of summer but then come Decemember there will be more test...and then 2 years from now if I survive all the test in law school I still will not be done I will have the bar exam.....
IT NEVER ENDS!